Dreamz Of Life

The Return of Retarded Man

2009-09-03T15:27:00.005+08:00

Due to ~~thousands and millions~~requests from my fans and foes, i decided to blog again the retarded way.

Stay tuned my beloved fans

Retarded Ah Lan

BACK

Happy Birthday, my FRIEND

2009-09-03T15:22:00.004+08:00

2008

Last year, today, a ~~GAY~~ GUY celebrating his birthday the retarded way

2009

From GAY to GUY, this little kid has grown up

HAPPY BIRTHDAY, JAIK

BUT

i still prefer calling you

HAPPY BIRTHDAY BUDAK KECIK

LOL

Construction Undergoing

2009-02-13T09:11:00.001+08:00

Im back from Hawaii !!! Yay !!!!!!!

Weirdo

2008-12-27T15:33:00.003+08:00

I think something is haunting my house. Everything around my house is getting weirder and weirder.

All my fish are getting fatter and fatter as I only bought them last week and that time these fish are still a little tweety ikan bilis.

Not only that, my tummy is getting bigger and "rounder" everytime I wake up. Next year, I think i should go and participate in Mr Santa Clause Contest 2009 or even Mr Fat 2009.

But the weirdest thing is, we usually have our ladies finger this big,

BUT

in my house, you can get this big and its almost double your middle finger length.

How astonishing !!!!

My Christmas

2008-12-26T19:40:00.002+08:00

Today is 26 December and I'm still having my Christmas, and i called it

CHRISTMAS CHU ER
which means the second day of Christmas.

This year, I celebrated my ~~raining~~ white Christmas with my love one. I emphasize it. It's LOVE without past tense and ONE without S. Hahaha...

So, i went to church at the morning with my family. Don't know why, this year i was sooooooo OVER EXCITED in church, I mean during the carolling, i actually dance with my father and when it comes to preaching from the priest, you can actually snore like no other business but its a miracle that I sat so still and listen to it. Amen.

Lets fast forward it to the noon part.

I went out with my mother and we shopped like hell. But the best thing I did...

I GOT SWEETS FROM MR SANTA AT EVERISE...

During night time, I shopped at Hock Lee and those who knows me well should know what I'm doing there. Sent HER home after that and...

--THE END--

Doulos

2008-12-21T18:39:00.002+08:00

The oldest ship in the world after the Titanic, Doulos just set sailed and hell yeah, it arrived at Kuching few weeks ago with ~~pretty, sexy~~ outgoing and outspoken cabin crew. Books are sold there with extremely cheap price and also some Doulos souveneirs.

People mountain people seaBooks and souveneirs are sold hereThe entrance for the 92 years old grandmaThe overall of the sexy grandma, never heard of "old ginger is still the spiciest"?

Overall, it is indeed a good experience for me but one thing that i can't figure it out...

what is GBA

GAMEBOY ADVANCE?

Fire Drill

2008-12-21T18:00:00.002+08:00

As usual, i attended the attachment in the hospital last night to kill the boredom. This time, it's not like last Saturday which everything was so peaceful that you can easily see the doctors and Medical Assistants singing and shaking their legs, but me and Kui Tai, was so amazed what had happened this morning. After some emergency outings, the hospital received a call from Kuching International Airport aka KIA saying that there is a blaze in the airport.
I was like "what the shell?" Airport is on FIRE???
Wow, first time in my St John Ambulance life i encountered this and to be more precise, IT IS AN EMERGENCY WITH MULTIPLE CASUALTIES !!!!
Ok, we were explained by Medical Assistant that this is only a fire drill and we don't have to be panic.

LOL

Alright, the ambulance part and how fast it goes I think I had explained few posts earlier, so lets move on. Arrived at the scene, my jaw fell down, IT IS DAMN SO HUMONGOUS although it is just a drill. Haiz, lazy to write, let the photos explain it all.

See anything? It is so foggy and smoky so you can't really see anything.The fire truck that carries tonnes of pipes in it and the power of blowing the water out from the big red machine is damn so strong. I wonder, if one day i can't flush my toilet, can i use the pipe to flush my sh*t away?

The rescue team So far, this is the most dangerous and fastest vehicle in Kuching.

This car usually appears in front of you if you cincai park your car either in a restricted zone or danger zone but here comes the strange thing, it parks it in the middle of the road.

Can we summon them for doing so?

Cold Room

2008-12-20T21:03:00.002+08:00

I found this in Swinburne

Amazed, I am...
Swinburne is cold enough when it comes to raining days
What if we enter that room and bring in a Kopi O panas?

Will it be Kopi O Peng or Kopi O ice cream?

AndOx

2008-12-17T20:14:00.000+08:00

I just like this doll...
Its from someone special...

LOL

Sad and Emo

2008-12-15T21:07:00.003+08:00

Rain falls on the eyes of the windows
Flickers of stars covered with thick grey cloud
Tears flow through the cheeks of a crying man
Looking at the disappearance of a blurry shadow
When the time is up, let it be
Wishing that it will be
A better day tommorow
I just want to say a simple word to you
.....
...
.

GOODBYE FOUNDATION
HERE I AM INTERNATIONAL BUSINESS

The Song"ness" of Ambulance

2008-12-14T12:55:00.001+08:00

When you sit in an ambulance,
The siren sound is on
The siren light is on
It dashes through the traffics and all the cars need to give ways
You will feel
....
ONE WORD

SONG !!!!!!!!!!!!!

Paktoh

2008-12-13T16:27:00.004+08:00

I went for attachment in the General Hospital of Sarawak this morning. I was so sleepy that time but one thing really caught my attention when i was on the way to pee.

JABATAN PATOLOGI ???

Cracking my mind, i was laughing and thinking,

is this the place where treatments are given to those who are dumped by their boyfriend/ girlfriend?
Or is this the place where we learn how to date or flirt with girls or boys?
Or is this the place where the workers are so expert in love that they paktoh 365 days non-stop?

I wonder...

In the cage

2008-12-13T16:00:00.002+08:00

We usually keep our dogs in a cage like this before they got barbequed as hot dogor keep our pussy cats like this before they got whacked out by 3 little chipmunks.or even lock our bunny up before Looney Tunes get a substitution for Bugs Bunny who retired years ago.

But do we have to lock the rocks up like this?

Maybe we shall hang one signboard on the cage

BEWARE OF ROCKS
THEY BITE

Appreciation in Retarded Ah Lan Way

2008-12-12T13:14:00.003+08:00

Recently, i finds that my engerish are improved many more after i writing this blog namely Dreamzylife. I feels so glad that i could writes all my diary in these blog where i could not written it in a book names Diary becauses my mother always wanted to saw it so i choosing to wrote in here. Thank you very the much Blogspot. Plus more, i can downloads picture, that only can be saw with eyes that is naked, in my blog so that peoples can look at my pretty and handsome picture. Thank you Blogspot again. Fathermore, i could communicated with people in the around world and make friendshipness with them. I are very the happy to look them speaking to me. In a coconutshell, I wanted to thank you the all people surround me for giving courages to me and i making a promise that i will wrote much entry and hoping my blog supporter would enjoyed my blog. Thank you.

Hot yet Cold Atmosphere

2008-12-11T20:05:00.005+08:00

Summer semester...

It sounds like a hot sweaty holiday with a jar of ice cold lemonade in hand but in fact, it is really icy cold when it comes to the atmosphere. WHY ? A class of 100+ students only 20+ NERDS come for the lecture, the others?

MIA
(Missing In Action)

Indeed it is somehow boring and the subjects we are taking now, Malaysian Studies or Sejarah in short and Moral Studies. Again, these subjects are mend to polish our knowledge about Malaysia and also learn how to be a civilise person? I doubt i will be so... -_-
Nevermind, so overall, like i mentioned earlier on, it is a boring term and i had taken some candids during classes so do enjoy it.

Famous and favourable lecturer, Mr George Tan ~~preaching~~ teaching

People smsing

Eating Koko Krunch

Couple smooching

Chit Chating

Showing a very serious face eventhough they doesn't know what the lecturer is talking about
Headache"ing"
Sleeping with a hand holding a piece of paper to cover her sleepy face. Good kungfu indeed.
Playing Hide and Seek

and of course
instead of using our nose to breath, we open our mouth to gasp for fresh air

New Local Horror Movie

2008-12-10T10:23:00.002+08:00

My friend Brandon told me that he wants to remake this horror movie, JU ONInstead of calling it JU ON

He named it
....
..
.
JU OFF

DULAN

2008-12-10T09:32:00.004+08:00

I feel DULANThe things i want to pursue

I CANT GET THEM
...
DULANThe thing i'm not pursuing
IT KEEPS GIVING ME CHANCES TO GET IT

DULAN DULAN DULAN

Christmas Meal from Mr Old Santa !!!

2008-12-10T08:59:00.004+08:00

This is my new toy from Mr Santa !!!Looks delicious right?Looks juicy right?It's just a mobile phone hanger.

LOL

Dine 'D Banquet

2008-12-08T20:30:00.007+08:00

Attended my ex-school St John Ambulance annual dinner last night at Banquet. The dinner was well prepared, at least there is no any pausing or jamming session but the food was a bit awful. The menu was fine but the taste of the food is totally out of my expectation. But still what goes in our tummy comes out as a piece of shit so lets move on to some camshot.

this is a CAKE
Actually there is only 3 little cuties performing on stage and we usually call them S.H.E but it happens to be that S.H.E is getting another new member. Are we going to name them S.H.E.S or S.H.E.ESH or SHRIEK?
and then we have this handsome cool guy who plays his guitar so well that almost every girls on the spot shouting at her name including me i think.
MC of the night. Well done Rachel Ruran. She did amuse me and honestly i totally enjoyed it.ok, its him again, Mr Johnny Kua and also the guy in white next to him, Mr Tim. Eventually, like usual, Johnny was too proud of his voice and somehow, he forgot to give Tim to sang the last part.

HE SANG IT ALL

Cake cutting ceromony. 100 years 1 time.Prom Queen and King. Its a bit weird that the king is far younger than the queen. How lucky he is. XD

HEY WAITIm also one of the contestant in PROM KING AND QUEEN event. But how unlucky, i lost to a 10 years old boy.

I SHOULD LOOK AT THE MIRROR to see where should i zhng my face

Me and my personality

2008-12-08T10:34:00.005+08:00

I was robbed
HAVE NO WORRIES
no monetary lost
just that
MY DIGNITY
was damaged by this personhe said when a pretty girl walk by
I will whistle, wink and ask for her number.
WILL I ???

2008-12-01T21:53:00.003+08:00

I was terribly busy for the last few weeks. Summer Semester aka LAN subjects, St John Ambulance Mass CPR, PSP, peeping girl, squatting in the toilet shouting here and there just because the XXXX dripping out like water and most important, tthinking on how to ~~escape LAN subjects class~~ concentrate in the class. Yesterday was St John Ambulance Mass CPR campaign which is held nationally. Im one of them who involves in teaching the crowds how to kiss a guy/ girl when he/ she faints. A lot of Sleeping Beauty scenes happened yesterday but of course those people weren't kissing real girl or guy but they kissed dummies although they also same like me, wishing to kiss a real girl.
Didn't really have the time to take photos because most of the time i was ~~flirting with girls~~ entertaining the crowds. This is the only photo i took while I'm free.Oh ya, here is another photo taken while this beautiful lady was busy taking blood pressure of her grandma.

WHY SO SERIOUS ?

LOL

2008-12-01T21:32:00.004+08:00

Strange and funny things do happen in Malaysia. It depends on how you see it or how you think about it.well what you see in the picture depends on your creativity

No wonder the chances of dying in a burning building is increasing annually

Reality Programme

2008-11-25T22:02:00.004+08:00

The world is having a very ~~deep shit~~ serious economy crisis and everyone seems to be feeling so concern about it. However, we still can watch OR we still can find such TV programmes exist in our miserable life and they are giving money. Shall i say MONEYSSSSSSSSSSS ???

America's Got TalentAmerican ~~Idiot~~ IdolOne Million StarAmazing Race

Proudly present to you our nation, made in Malaysia reality TV programme

Maggi "Mencari Bintang" Contest.

Hey Maggie, are you in this contest?

Bon Voyage de Kay ELE

2008-11-24T21:44:00.013+08:00

I went to Kuala Lumpur with my mom last week. It is indeed a remarkable experience for me.

WHY ?

I ended my trip with puke and squatting in the toilet for hours.

Cut the crabs...I mean craps and let the party rolls.

Well peoples who know me well think than I'm a ~~voyeur~~ voyager. Thus, budget plane is my choice but it ended up crashing to a miserable mountain.

Luckily I pray to God every night and I was saved from this guy who rushed out from the building with his undies still on. Thank HIM.

Alright the saviour has gone and now I was left alone again and I was ambushed by a ~~worm~~ snake.

Without any hesitation, I showed it my TULAN face and straight away the ~~worm~~ snake crawled back to its tunnel.

Another of my TULAN face

So...

I walk

…walk

C’mon, walk with me

…walk

I haven’t reach yet lah

…walk

Ok lah, this is the place!!!

Let the pictures tell you the rest stories

oh this ~~stupid~~ stuff...i was not allowed to play it cause im too heavy...what the ???

and this one the name looks exactly like my nick...DREAMZ...with 3 cats standing in front of me.

Drey, this is for you...

Emesis

2008-11-24T13:25:00.003+08:00

I feel SICK

VOMITING NON-STOP FOR 2 DAYS

I think im having KAY-ELEPHOBIA
(fear of going to Kuala Lumpur aka KL).

Here it comes again !!!
WUEK~
Sign off !!!

Just another POST

2008-11-24T13:19:00.005+08:00

Sometimes

Seeing people who are tension for exam makes me feel excited !!!

LOL

Im just being
.....
...
.
EVIL

Do i need a GIRL ?

2008-11-16T19:23:00.005+08:00

Shall i find a girlfriend? Must i find a girl? Do i need a girlfriend now?
It is just another stupid question buzzing my head.
Here is what i heard from my buddies' about GIRLFRIEND

Some told me
having a girlfriend is a relief.

Some told me
having a girlfriend is a burden.

Some told me
having a girlfriend is rich. Why?
cause the girl is the money tree.

Some even told me
having a girlfriend means that you are normal. Why?
At least you know you are not GAY.

So back to the title, do i need a girl NOW? Seeing couples flirting in the library, dining together at a miserable high class restaurants which i only visit them IF AND ONLY IF i win a lottery, ~~kissing at the carpark~~, dating at Waterfront and got rob later by a desperado who is in need of money and so on...I really think am i desperate for a GIRL ?

Ideas come to my mind if i really really want a girl. Im gonna have a girlfriend like this

muscular as herat least she can protect me

sexy as herwell, at least her eyes and lips can shock me if i see other girls

bold as heri wont have to worry about her hair do expenses at least

pretty as herat least i got "face" when i date with her

most important

rich as herme?

ANYONE TO RECOMMEND?
PLEASE CALL MY HANDPHONE FOR RESERVATION

Its over

2008-11-16T10:34:00.007+08:00

Finished my final exam few days ago. Hell yeah, 3 days for the exam seems like 3 months in jail, not enough sleep, not enough drinks and worst part, waiting to be executed. OK, it just a crap ! Freedom is what i am enjoying now, games, food, ~~girls~~, gym, novels, and movies. But one word to describe me now

....................
..............
.........
.....
...
..
.
I'm bored

Summer semester is going to start soon, next week i guess. It is just another miserable semester and do believe,

UNTIL UNIVERSITY LEVEL, I STILL NEED TO STUDY PENDIDIKAN MORAL AND MALAYSIAN STUDIES ?

OH MY FREAKING FISH AND CHIPS~

i hate those subjects, never try a single effort to entertain them back to high school, but no choice, they are in front of me and i must love them, eat with them, sleep with them and maybe go to toilet with them. Sounds so ridiculous right? Well, thats my country, my beloved nation.

LOL

Yay !!!!!!!

2008-11-11T20:49:00.003+08:00

The burden is gone.Finished my Law test today
Excited and agitated
Let's party baby

-_-

I got a PhD

2008-11-05T20:50:00.003+08:00

Sometimes, i really think hard,

shall i go for PhD ?
Think twice, once i got my PhD, will i become like this?I bet you dont believe he is a PhD holder

or like this?maybe like this? I can imagine how im going to look like once i graduated from PhD
WHY ???
Permanent head Damage

I love BIBLE

2008-11-05T20:37:00.004+08:00

This is my biblei sleep with iteat with iteven go toilet with itBut, after today, i wont be reading him as frequently as last time since my English test is over.

I WILL MISS YOU FOREVER, BIBLE

Something different from me

2008-11-02T09:14:00.003+08:00

Since most of my friends are doing their miserable revision on the oncoming final exams, i am a weirdo instead, I spent most of the on time on this

and this

WEIRD MEH IF PLAY BARBIE DOLL

IM STILL A BABY BA~

Home Sweet Home

2008-11-02T09:13:00.000+08:00

Im BACK

Happy Birthday Sexy

2008-10-26T17:53:00.004+08:00

Happy birthday to you...

Happy birthday to you...
Happy birthday to
Siannnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn~
Happy birthday to you...

Happy birthday to you...
You are born in the zoo...
You look like a
MONKEY~
and you smell like one too...

HAPPY BIRTHDAY PRISCILLA LIEW

Im NOT Yours

2008-10-26T15:52:00.007+08:00

Well open up your mind and see like me
Open up your plans and damn you're free
Look into your heart and you'll find love love love love
Listen to the music of the moment people dance and sing
We're just one big family
And It's our God-forsaken right to be loved love loved love loved
So I won't hesitate no more, no more
It cannot wait I'm sure
There's no need to complicate
Our time is short
This is our fate, I'm yours

Jason Mraz - Im yours
LOL

Of Musician and Costume

2008-10-25T12:28:00.005+08:00

Different musician wears different costume
A jazz musician wears like a gentlemanCollar shirt and hat

Punk rockers wear like PORCUPINE.IT IS LIKE PORCUPINE !!!

Rocker singer wears like...Rainn Wilson??

I wonder what about heavy metalist?Do they wear metal like this?
or

Do they wear iron?

IS THE MOVIE IRONMAN INSPIRED BY THEM
LOL

Lifesong

2008-10-23T21:50:00.004+08:00

Life
is so painful

Life
is so unpredictable

Life
is so meaningless

Life
is so doubtful

Life
is so miserable that even George Washington is complaining

Girl and Me

2008-10-23T21:47:00.003+08:00

How to make a girl chase you instead of chasing her?

Talk with her.
Chat with her.
ask for her phone and remember its her phone not phone number.

take her phone
and

RUN

i 100% sure she will chase you.

High School University Musical

2008-10-23T21:01:00.005+08:00

Featuring actors and actress from University Musical...Coach Kelvin Bottom and Troy BrandonCoach Kelvin Bottom, Troy Brandon *showing his nose hair* and Ryan Kecik *laughing retardedly*Our pretty girl Gabriella Dreyz is she doing this???

I have no idea what she is doing...

LOL !!!

Numb and Dumb

2008-10-19T21:16:00.005+08:00

Im tired of being what you want me to beFeeling so faithlessLost under the surfaceI don't know what you expecting of mePut under the pressure of walking in your shoes

(Caught in the undertow just caught in the undertow)Every step that I take is another mistake to you(Caught in the undertow just caught in the undertow)

I've become so numb I can't feel you thereBecome so tired so much more aware,I'm becoming this all I want to doIs be more like me and be less like you
LOL
NUMB by Linkin Park

Lover reveal

2008-10-19T21:07:00.002+08:00

LOL, indeed its a very lame one and Jayne guessed it correctly so as Johnny. No challenging at all. LOL..
It's herShe is the BEST
Amen

Im in LOVE

2008-10-18T09:19:00.004+08:00

I think im IN LOVE with a girl
yea~ Johnny, have no fear
I really soooooooo in love with her.

Her alluring eyes;
Her smooth shaky hands;
Her motherly heart;
Her loyalty;
and
Her kindness

melted my heart;
she even make me change my status to IN A RELATIONSHIP in FaceBook
want some clue?
it starts with M***** T******
c'mon, lets have some guesses

answer will be reviewed tommorow 18 October 2008

If i can...

2008-10-18T07:50:00.006+08:00

IF I CAN
sing like Britney Spears, i wont be ended up singing in the toilet while trying hard to push the XXX out from my butt.
IF I CAN
engage to a rich old lady who is going to heaven soon, i wont be working so hard to bear with my university fees.

IF I CAN
get myself punch by bulllies and get my face retarded, i will be looking far more handsome than Brad Pitt.

IF I CAN
draw a big letter S on my chest and put on a red undies outside my trouser, Malaysia will have more telephone booth on the street.

IF I CAN
stuck two salted eggs on my eyes instead of wearing a nerd specs, i wont be so relaxing now.

IF AND ONLY IF I CAN...
the world will be peace forever
PEACE

I am the KING

2008-10-17T18:22:00.003+08:00

I am the King

as i, Prince Alan defeated King D24 from the Kingdom of Mount ToBong
I declared myself, the King of Mount ToBong

here is the story
It took me 5 minutes to fight with the armies,
they are strong;
they are cunning;
The fortress is damn strong and solid with spines all over it.

BUT

with all my will and power, i took a heavenly made sabre and rushed into the fortress
and stabbed the king's butt.
He yelled and moaned in tears.
with his final breath, he revealed his yellow flesh and surrender with white sheet
to prove that im a brave man
i ate all his flesh

YUM~ YUM~

so here, introducing the previous King of Mount ToBongThe solid fortressThe flesh of the KINGThe corpse of the KING
JUST LOL IT

Wolf and Gay

2008-10-17T16:16:00.004+08:00

After causing a hoo haa by posting how ~~passionate~~ and ~~close~~ me and my friend are, i decided to post another one whom i somehow always stick too.He is a WOLF who doesnt know how to woof. Oh gosh, it sounds so smooth...LOL

ok, he prefers people call him Wolf instead of his real name but still, i like to call him LAI

he is handsome,he is sarcastic

andhe is a pervert

why?

never watch Looney Tunes?
Wolf usually howl when he saw PRETTY GIRL

thats all for today FOLKS
it is just another LAME post.

Am i GAY?

2008-10-16T09:00:00.006+08:00

Sometimes, i have been wondering this question,

AM I A GAY?

Recently, i have been hooking up with this guy.

ya, HIM

my old buddy who i have known for more than 15 years.

See, he is talented inMOLESTING kids?

and he has the charisma and sing like Fei Yu Ching

sometimes, i think i like him
am i turning into a GAY?

LOL, it just a post
THATS ALL FOLKS

Swinb and YOU

2008-10-15T18:56:00.005+08:00

Studying at Swinb is fun. Get to know new friends, new cultural and somehow new girlfriend??? Consequently, if you are FREE enough to loiter around either at the Cafeteria or Chilipeppers, try to change it another way round, SIT at the LOBBY and observe people"s" in Swinb.Amazingly, you will see people who are
High and short
Pretty and Handsome
Smart and Nerd??

well, if you want to be different from them, try these
Somehow in Swinb, gamers like this
instead, go eBay and search for this and carry it around and wave it like you just dont care
Earphone and mp3 player or handphone with mp3 player are "neccesities" in Swinb
instead, bring this and play the oldies
Most of the people are playing DOTA
dont be shy, you can choose this as your game
and
Most people are wearing so trendy that sometimes i dont even recognize who they are.
For me, i choose to wear a short pants that looks like a boxer, a plain color T-shirt instead of carrying books and bag,
i carry this

JUST IN CASE IM HUNGRY OR I SUFFERED FROM CONSTIPATION...

Art of Fart

2008-10-14T22:23:00.004+08:00

Fart is an art. It is a philosophy. Why say so? It brings up one's personality and it is true that different farts show different mankinds.

Silent Fart
It usually happens in the lift. Like its name, it's soundless and the odour can be smelled counting from 5, 4, 3, 2, 1... Somehow, the farted one will either whistle, look here and there or follow the others covering his or her mouth and said " WHO FARTED IN HERE ??"

Polite Fart
Lady way of farting. Nice and polite. Again it's soundless and somehow, the advantage here is that it happens to be odourless too. Just a release of thin air from your back. No reaction needed for this fart.
Noisy Fart
This is the result of eating excessive onions, tapiocas or mayb pork lard. Once it is released, whole world knows you are farting and everyone will tend to leave the lift wherever the floor is. This is also a symptom of getting your business done in the toilet and somehow it is really urgent type. Business must be done IMMEDIATELY

Poison Fart
Last but not least, the poisonous gas ever in the world. Physically no harm, but mentally, once you inhaled, you will get retarded. Not recommended for non professional as it might kill one's life. This type of fart is released if you keep it too long in your tummy. The duration is long enough for a marathon and the odour, kills your appetite. Strongly not recommended in the public.

Like i said, fart is an art,
even COW do fart
Eventually, i think that our lovely government should establish a new Act
instead of NOT SMOKING ZONE
i think they should put

NO FARTING ZONE

The World Market Share and Me

2008-10-14T17:57:00.004+08:00

I feel like im connected with the world market share
Recently, there is a massive drop in the share, SO DO I

My feelings is very low in the sense that i get EMO easily
My appetite is decreasing
My sense of humour is fading
I like to listen to Flo Rida song entitled LOW

BUT
BUT
BUT

one thing in my life that increase

MY WEIGHT

joy for it

YAY !!!!!

TAGGED

2008-10-14T17:30:00.002+08:00

Woot~ my first tag from Weiliang and Olala

I was nominated by Olala as the Best Lamest Blog She have ever read
LOL
okie~ here goes the tagging

-RULES-
1. If you’ve been tagged, you can put the logo on your blog.
2. Link the person from whom you received the award.
3. Nominate at least 7 other blogs.
4. Put links to those blogs on yours.
5. Leave a message on the blogs you’ve nominated.

So here you are, nomination from Ah Lan the Lamer

Brandon aka Ah Don - The Lame Blogger who is Lamer than me
Drey aka Bin Bin - The Most "SENSATION" Blogger
Dixon aka Wolf - The Master of Lame
Jonathan aka Jojo - The Saddest Blogger
Daniel aka Big Cow - The Cow that knows how to blog
Jerwin aka Nothing - The Best Singer who blogs
WeeNee aka Pooh - Cutest Blogger in my bloglist?

Sometimes

2008-10-14T17:15:00.002+08:00

Sometimes,
I FEEL LIKE DYING

Sometimes
I FEEL LIKE SINGING IN THE PUBLIC TOILET

Sometimes
I FEEL LIKE BREEDING A WHITE TIGER

Sometimes
I FEEL LIKE EATING DURIAN IN THE HOTEL AND BURP LIKE NOBODY BUSINESS

Sometimes
I FEEL LIKE FLIRTING WITH THE SWINBURNE KAKAK WHO WASHES THE TOILET

Sometimes
I FEEL LIKE SUNBATHING ON TOP OF SWINBURNE MULTI STOREY CARPARK

and

Sometimes
I FEEL LIKE FARTING IN FRONT OF GIRLS

we can be SOMEBODY doing SOMETHING in SOMETIME but TIME is too precious for us to waste it.

Treasure your time and HEALTH

KATAKAN TAK NAK to VIDEO GAMES and DRAMA
*but when you free, watch and play as much as you can lah*

Im NAKED

2008-10-14T16:40:00.005+08:00

Recently, we have read a GUY posting his ex girlfriend private photos or can i say it NAKED photos in the internet or somewhere public in order to threaten the girl to mend their broken relationship. I was like jaw dropping*saliva dripping*...*i want see that picture also*

Just kidding

WHAT ON EARTH COULD THE BOY DID THIS TO HIS GIRL

well, i was thinking~
if one day, i break up with my girlfriend and she posted it on her blog or somewhere in the internet...

OH MY FREAKING FISH AND CHIPS FROM WESTWOOD

oh ya by the way, fish and chips from Richmond's Place is nicer than Westwood
ok ok~ again

OH MY FREAKING FISH AND CHIPS FROM WESTWOOD

if one day u find a picture of me doing this actionor this actionDont hesitate...
Please report to the police...
i dont want to be hurt like this

SOB

PROM NITE

2008-10-12T10:43:00.007+08:00

Party that Rules Our Mind
Yea~ it really rules our mind when it comes to PROM
this is some example

you pay 60 bucks for place like this

nice and elegant

worst still
this guy who likes to dress like this during class

eventually turn into this

ok, craps are over, lets talk about the real thingy.

The PROM was really marvellous, well in terms of the events on that night. The food was average, not bad but its kinda less if it comes to people like thisHmm~ a lot of performances such as
Songs from fake Justin Timberlake but man~ he really looks alike
Songs from fake Akon and once again he really looks alike too because he is dark...-.-
Titanic Er Hu version performances from 2 girls
Breakdancing from Jason"s" the 13th? Cause all wear ice hockey mask ba~

Besides, we got
ROMEO AND JULIET aka BEST COUPLE AWARD *im going to win this next PROM*
BEST ATTIRE AWARD
PROM KING AND QUEEN
LUCKY DRAW
sorry but my camera was so blur that i cant even shoot on the girl i like *ehem* kidding kidding

and and and
i think this is the most HIGH part, everyone started dancing
LOW LOW LOW

guys, next year PROM, please go and enjoy it~

Silent Prayer

2008-10-10T21:29:00.002+08:00

Tomorrow is my Accounting test

MAY GOD BLESS ME
and
My Friends

AMEN

Of Real and Fake

2008-10-09T14:35:00.005+08:00

Recently i see a lot of faker.
For example this

presenting

Apple iPhone

HiPhonePlaystation Portable aka PSPPOP station

this is the FAK"EST" i ever seen and i think 2009 Chinese New Year Open House, im going to buy this instead of this

Lah

2008-10-09T13:57:00.003+08:00

We Malaysian must know how to use LAH
Like this

A lot of people like to eat this

LALA

Also we as Malaysian must know HIM

PAK LAH

I LOVE YOU PAK LAH~
can you help me pay off my university fee before you retire??

Dangerous Food

2008-10-06T19:38:00.006+08:00

This is Kong PiaI love Kong Pia
The chewy munchy texture and the fragrance of sesame seeds
Yum~ Yum~It looks like a hamburger but its not a hamburgerIt looks like a vegetable pau but its not as soft as the vegetable pauOne word

DELICIOUS

oh ya
if one day while you enjoying Kong Pia and suddenly a PERVERT jump out in front of you

DONT HESITATE

take one Kong Pia

THROW AT HIM

DONT TRY THIS AT HOME
TRY IT ON YOUR FRIEND

Evolving

2008-10-05T20:05:00.005+08:00

I think i am going to evolve like Pokemon
like this
From thin to FAT
so this is me

BEFORE

AFTER

WHY?

just now had my dad earlier birthday celebration at Topspot aka Carpark Seafood Centre, the place where computer fair held annually.

here are foods i swallowedStir Fried Sweet Potato Leaves with Belacan *thumbs up*Fish Lips SoupStir Fried Ostrich Meat with Ginger *thumbs up*Butter PrawnFried Crab with Butter and Salted Eggs *thumbs up*

I THINK I NEED TO GO TOILET
ANYONE WANT TO JOIN ME???

How to PEEP on GIRLS and BOYS

2008-10-03T18:31:00.002+08:00

This is what we usually do when we are way tooooooooo free...
i mastered something from this so called peeping thingy and i hereby to share with you...

FOR GIRLS
Peep boys in the basketball court. This is the place where all the boys show their real identity.

If the boys play so gentleman,
he is a gentleman

If the man play like ladyboy
he is a ladyboy

If the man play like Brad Pitt
he is not Brad Pitt la but Bread Pig

FOR BOYS
Peep girls in a camp. This is the place where all the girls show their real identity.
Ask the girls go wash their own plates and cups.

If a girl washes the plates and cups like we owe her US $ 1 billion, forget about her, she doesnt know how to do houseworks

If a girl washes the plates and cups like she is in heaven, forget about her also, she is totally INSANE. Run as fast as you can if you see her.

If a girl washes the plates and cups like she is washing a plate and cup, this one BOLEH, can be accepted, NORMAL

SHE"S THE ONE

Open House foodssssss

2008-10-02T19:02:00.007+08:00

During Hari Raya Aidilfitri, we eat this
During Gawai, we eat this
During Chinese New Year, we eat this ALSO

HAIZ

2009 Chinese New Year, im going to have this in my OPEN HOUSE menuanyone?
DITANGGUNG HALAL

Something Special

2008-10-02T18:53:00.003+08:00

Got this from a temple in Bau...
It means :
Those who blackmail me, angry me, bully me, backstab me, laugh at me, look down on me, cheat to me, what shall we do?
WE SHOULD TOLERATE WITH THEM, LET THEM BE, RESPECT THEM, IGNORE THEM
IF THEY STILL KEEP ON DOING SO, LOOK AT THEM WITH YOUR BIG EYES !!!

Something missing~

2008-10-02T18:25:00.003+08:00

Today i feel so sad, extremely sad.

WHY ???

something is missing from my life.
to ease my pain, my dad brought me to some places where it is originated.
First place we went was Bau
searching...searching...searching...
BUT
it was not there.
so i went to Serian.
again...
searching...searching...searching...
it was not there too.
tears flowed through my cheeks..
haiz...

can anyone find for me?
BOUNTY RM 1000

I am Power Ranger

2008-09-30T21:23:00.007+08:00

Introducing
.....
....
...
..
.
Mighty Morphin Power Rangers

They are LEGENDS
and me Ah Lan is in the team NOW

Oh~ Gordon is calling me nowIT'S MORPHIN TIME !!!!

Fighting villians now...BO ENG BO ENG !!!!

Buka Puasa

2008-09-30T13:28:00.006+08:00

Today, 30 September 2008

Buka Puasa time

6.34 p.m.

Selamat Hari Raya Aidilfitri

Ah Ting

2008-09-29T20:08:00.012+08:00

This is Ong Ka TING
This is KamunTING where ISA is being used here...
This is Mr Jacob Ting, my respectful lecturer
This is MarkeTING mentioned by Ah Don
This is a late post as it should be posted last Saturday after the marketing test. However, due to some circumstances, it is delayed until today. Finish my marketing test last Saturday. Wasn't too hard but it was not easy too. I had done my part and now it depends on luck whether i can get good result or not. Day after tomorrow is Hari Raya Aidilfitri which means lotsa curries and lemang and also LEMAK waiting for me. I wonder after Hari Raya, my *cough* MUSCULAR *cough* body will change from this

to this

SELAMAT HARI RAYA AIDILFITRI

The Story of FART

2008-09-28T15:12:00.005+08:00

FART stands for Functional Approach of Releasing Tension
also means useful way to release stress.

So let me tell you a story about FART.

Once upon a time~ *story usually start like this ba*
Ok lets start...
There are two friends, in fact, they are also partner in work. Let us just name both of them Ah Li and Ah Bu *its better than Ali and Abu ma~* Ah Li has a hobby, a bad one indeed, which is he likes to FART, pangpui la and he likes to fart in front of Ah Bu. One day, Ah Bu really cant stand it anymore, so he told Ah Li,

Ah Bu : Can you stop farting in front of me? Its kinda gross~
Ah Li : Oops...im sorry bout that, i thought you like my fart !
Ah Bu : ...

So after that day, Ah Li never farts in front of Ah Bu but everytime he feels like farting, he will stop walking and shake his buttock. Ah Bu feel strange so he squads down behind Ah Li like thisBut he cant find anything, so he ask Ah Li, what is wrong with you? Why everytime you feel like farting, your butt will shake?

Ah Li said : I TURN IT INTO VIBRATION MODE ARR~

HAHAHAHA

Cat's Food ?? Kucing's Food ?? Kuching's Food ??

2008-09-28T11:09:00.012+08:00

Living in Kuching is such a wonderful thing for me, especially peeping at boys...oops...typo typo...is especially peeping at the food !!! *IM NOT G.A.Y*
Driving along Kuching you will see a lot of so called kopitiam aka our local dialect for cafe or coffee shop and if you walk in, the fragrance of curry and prawn paste with a little bit of coriander leaf smell flows through your nose hair~ oops...its your NOSE...

THAT IS OUR LOCAL DELICACY
LAKSA

well, personally, i myself is a LAKSA MANIAC
so let me introduce some of the places in Kuching where you can eat nice and memorable LAKSA

Foody Goody CafeIt is located opposite the new Tabuan Jaya Wet Market. This cafe is always people mountain people sea if you come around 8am. The laksa there was recommended by some of the food experts as one of the BEST LAKSA IN KUCHING. As for me, i think the laksa tastes ok, but the price of it is not so reasonable. Its kinda expensive...

Tabuan Jaya Thompson CornerYup, this one is the best laksa i ever taste. Although it is not so famous compare to Foody Goody Cafe or Madam Tang, but i think the gravy really KICKS me up and the cockles are huge...
Oh ya, it is located at the old Tabuan Jaya Wet Market which had been abolished and also next to Super Save.

Chong Choon CafeOne of the oldest laksa stall in Kuching. Serve the best laksa ever and it really tastes great. The price is ok ok but the place is not so strategic because of the parking lots are limited.

Ming Heng CafeIf you want to try some of the Ah Kong Ah Ma era laksa, this is the place. Selling laksa since the 50s. No regret trying it, and also *the tauke is my relative's brother, so please support him la* The price is reasonable, prawns, eggs are fresh and most important, the gravy is really nice. It is located at Carpenter Street, the 3rd shop on the right block, few shops before Lau Ya Keng (the opposite site).

and lastly, this is the best of the BEST

MAGGI MEE ASSAM LAKSAyou can DIY yourself lei...crabsticks or eggswant some?

SWEETS

2008-09-28T10:46:00.007+08:00

This are SWEETSThis is also SWEETThis is also also very very SWEETerm...in fact, i think this is the sweetest !!!!

cute out

MILK = Make Infant Lost Kidney

2008-09-23T07:06:00.008+08:00

Yup...MILK stands for Make Infant Lost Kidney...

what???

Haiz...

Bet you guys know what is happening now in China...
ya..contamination of milk...
Well, thanks to XXX company from producing such a GOOD milk product which affect almost 50k of all the seikia in China...
Instead of putting in a softener in the milk...
they add in hardener in it which causes the kidney to harden like this...

oops...wrong picture...

LAME...

and in Malaysia, the government had recalled back all the products made from milk in China

1. M&Ms

2. Snickers

3. OREO waffle sticks

4. DutchLady sterilized milk (sounds weird right? eventhough sterilized liaw still kena recalled)

5. Mini Cornetto

6. many more~

BUT

why this one also ???my favourite

and i thought its name is Rabbit Sweet so it is made of RABBIT'S MILKKORECK KORECK??

HAIZ...

may GOD bless all the babies in the world

Spiderman 4

2008-09-22T20:20:00.014+08:00

Its true~ Spiderman 4 is going to release this summer 2008. No kidding...
This time Sam Raimi aka director for Spiderman 3 had made it more thrilling and more nerve breaking than the previous Spiderman. A lot of changes had been made like...no more Tobey Maguire as the *old*, handsome, *nerd* Pete...

INSTEAD

they had HIM

oops...not this pic bt this...

And for Pete's wife?? girlfriend?? Erm~ Mary Jane la~ Sam also changed the actress. Instead of Kirsten Dunst as MJ, it turned out to be HIM as MJ

at least he is cuter...

And for the villians part, Sam also made a lot of modification and turnover...ya TURNOVER

So let me introduce the 3 villians

They are...
Name : Budak Kecik
Age : 18
Secret weapon : Homer Simpson and Water Gun

Name : Mojo JoJo
Age : 18
Secret Weapon : Water Laser Gun

and the final one and also the BIG BOSS aka Tai Lo...

Name : Squishy
Age : Unknown
Secret Weapon : Being squished and showing BEISONG face

Well, Spidey also introduced a new weapon to encounter such a massive and LIHAI villian group.

INTRODUCING SPIDERMAN NEW WEAPON...

yup...underwear...
INSPIRED BY SUPERMAN CAUSE SUPERMAN IS STRONG WHEN HE WEARS HIS UNDERWEAR OUTSIDE...

I LOVE SPIDERMAN

Resurrection

2008-09-20T21:37:00.011+08:00

After the apocalypse, yea~ I resurrected again !!!
Sounds like im the almighty...-_-
Ya~ say bye bye to accounting and law test liaw...no more worries bout these 2 *boring* subjects
SO~ what so great bout this 2 subjects? Here it goes~ Ah Lan the Lamer will explain to you...

Law
Its nothing but a bunch of tiny words and words and words and words and words~ zzzzzZ
Well, look at the law books and you will know how *ehem* it is~ * i better dont say much*EH no...not that one but this one

Spot the difference...

Well the hammer isn't use in court

BUT
to hit your head to keep you awake

like this

Accounting
nothing but 123 and lines...but at least this one is more fun

its either you like this

if you found the balance of the account

or like this

acting retarded by showing your nose hair

if you cant find the answer

oh ya
HAPPY BIRTHDAY ADRIAN FONG SAI YUK

free of test out

Ah Po Cal Lypse

2008-09-18T08:41:00.000+08:00

Ya, end of my day is coming...
LAW and ACCOUNTING test this sat, from miserable 9am til 330pm, sounds like a marathon...
BIG HAIZ...

so this few days besides going to the library behaving like a nerd and acting soooooooo hardworking, *JOHNNY dont laugh*, i also got do some revision at home lah, here is the proof...i have no idea why that 2 comics are on my table, well, you all know lah im a hardworking nerd boy right? So maybe that 2 UFOs were left by my pet dog after he read it, it has nothing to do with me...im innocent~

Here is another proof how hard i study this few nights...ya, a bit run shape...
BLESS ME~

face run shape out

Diseases

2008-09-17T19:38:00.000+08:00

Had my LAW tutorial again today. As usual, Mr Jacob Ting aka LA~MEI~ ask us something that make us scratch our head~

so here it goes~
we got various kinds of diseases...

Cows - Mad Cow Disease

Chickens and Ducks - Bird Flu

Pigs - Japanese Encephalitis aka JE

how bout goats?

I think we should name it

OH MY FREAKING GOAT Disease

sick out

He, She and It

2008-09-17T15:46:00.000+08:00

After some LAME posts, some of my friends got chilled out after all the postings, here is something SENTIMENTAL...

Met up with a girl recently, not to mention her name, being mysterious ba~

Erm~ maybe that's the reason i had been "loitering" around in here...being a guai guai hardworking young man...

she is not in here so no need to find a single clue

But of course lah, Ah Lan is always the most hardworking one~ look at these piles and piles of books and you will know how "hardworking" he is...

Ah Lan IS hardworking RITE ?...

So, guys !!! Want to know who i am peeping on?

Guess yourself~

flirt out

Just a LAME post~

2008-09-16T07:09:00.000+08:00

This is what i learned today after a bunch *ehem* boring *ehem* lecture...
A joke from a LAME lecturer...here it is...

What is the difference between jumping from 1st floor and 3rd floor?

3rd floor

jumping from 3rd floor, its gonna sounds like arrrrrr~ piak~

1st floor

and from 1st floor, its probably gonna sounds like piak~ arrrrrrrrr~

what about 2nd floor?

sure is ARRRRRRGGGHHHH~ piak~ piak~ ARRRRRRRRRRRGGGHHH

sure you want ask why right?

cause I ALSO DONT KNOW WHY !!!!

muahahahahahaha~

lame out

21st Century and the LESS

2008-09-14T18:08:00.000+08:00

our communication - WIRELESS

our dress - TOPLESS

our telephone - CORDLESS

our cooking - FIRELESS

our youth - JOBLESS

our food - FATLESS

our labour - EFFORTLESS

our conduct - WORTHLESS

our relation - LOVELESS

our attitutude - CARELESS

our feelings - HEARTLESS

our politics - SHAMELESS

our education - VALUELESS

our follies - COUNTLESS

our arguments - BASELESS

our job - THANKLESS

our boss - BRAINLESS

our salary - VERY LESS

How to be LAME

2008-09-14T14:18:00.000+08:00

lame...lame...lame

Apa itu LAME ???
Saya pun tak tau~ muahahahahahaha...
-_-

ok~ thats LAME

being LAME sometimes can kill mosquito cause its too cold~
so, if you want your house to be mosquito free,
here you are

HOW TO BE A LAMER from AH LAN THE LAMER
big applause please~

1. face must as thick as HIM

oink~oink~

2. Brain must be retarded as HIM

ya HIM with mouth open as big as HIM

3. Must sleep like a COW

instead of snoring, you moo...

4. Camwhore like the HIM

handsome ya~

5. And finally, most important, talk craps like

One day, a polar bear is so bored till he pluck off all his fur and later said

lalala~

SO COLD ~

cold out~

The Start

2008-09-14T11:30:00.000+08:00

Yay !!!!!!
How about a round of applause...
A standing ovation...

-_-

K..cut it out...too much Rihanna~
Finally a blog from me huh~
So why for all sudden i start to blog again?

STRESS ??? not to much of that...
DESPERATE ??? kinda of...

well~ here is the reason i so EXCITED !!!
...
....
.....
......
.......
........
I SONG MA~
muahahahahaha

ok~LAME
presenting PHOTO of THE DAY

peace out